(based on the Kisvei Ha'Baal Shem Tov, Mai Hashiloach, Tania)

Va'asher lo tzodah v'ha'Elokim enah leyado...
"And if someone killed unintentionally, and Hashem caused it to happen to him.."

Rashi explains that this refers to the case of two people. One had previously committed a murder intentionally, b'meizid, and there had been no witnesses.  The second had previously killed someone unintentionally, b'shogeg, and there, too, there had been no witnesses. Thus, neither had been punished.  The killer b'meizid was not executed by the court, and the killer b'shogeg was not exiled.  HaKadosh Baruch Hu now brings the two together to the same inn.  The one who had killed intentionally sits under a ladder, and the one who had killed unintentionally climbs up the ladder.  He falls down on the intentional killer and kills him by the impact of his fall.  This time there are witnesses and he is required to be exiled.  So justice is implemented on both accounts.  The unintentional killer goes to exile and the intentional killer is killed..

The famous question that is asked about the scenario described by Rashi is:
If it happened a second time to the unintentional killer because it happened once before without witnesses,  how do we explain the first time he unintentionally killed??

The Mai HaShiloach explains Rashi's expression of "echad harag b'shogeg" not to mean that he actually had previously killed someone.  Rather, this refers to a major character flaw that this person had, having harbored anger and murderous feelings in his heart.  "..v'haElokim enah leyado", Hashem caused this to happen to him in order to HELP him.  As long as evil, hateful, murderous thoughts are concealed in the person's heart, how will it ever dawn on him that he has to do tshuvah??  He can go on for a lifetime chas veshalom harming and scarring others and himself in subltle ways.and putting on a show for others and even for himself.  Now that this terrible tragedy occured, he will make the connection and understand that he has do to teshuvah, for on some level, he already had a REAL connection to murder.

These are very strong words.  We do not quote them this week in order to sound like we have any sort of knowledge and understanding as to why rachmana litzlan tragedies occured.  Hashem Yisbarach runs the world in His mysterious ways, perfect righteousness and lovingkindness.  We only quote the sfarim hakdoshim in order to hear and understand the clear message of how vitally important it is that we clean out our hearts of sinas chinam.  Without a consious effort, this does not happen on its own.

Consider the following:
a.  Given the unbridled condition of the human ego, a person constantly defines himself and grades himself based on how he compares to those around him.  How does he rate in comparison to others as far as intellegence? talent? accomplishments? charm? status? success? "righteousness" ?  (Yes, he even gives himself spiritual grades in this fashion).

b.  Also, we all have our personalities.  This automatically means that there are some people with whom we hit it off and there is understanding, and there are some people with whom we don't hit it off, and most encounters with them are fraught with misunderstanding or no understanding.  How do we handle the latter situation in a way that is compatable with Ahavas Yisrael, when we really feel little or nothing in common?

c.  And then, also,  we do have a MITZVAH of hating evil. How do we draw that tricky line between self-righteousness and genuine revulsion of the evil? Is there a way we can check ourselves?

There are many obstacles that must be cleared up  for a person to overcome sinas chinam.  Here are some helpful hints:

First of all, it is a good practice not to become distracted by focusing on other peoples' lives, except for giving others support or mutual pursuits in ruchanius.  This makes for much more "boring" but meaningful socializing.  Privacy has always been a main strength of Klal Yisrael.  Only when you concerntrate on building yourself, do you get to notice the great bracha that Hashem showers upon you every moment.  It is imagination to think that any other person's situation, as bright as it may seem, can diminish your personal capacity for happiness and bracha and nachas. On the contrary, when we see that others have bracha, it should serve as source of CHIZUK.  Look at the great bracha and recognize The Source of the bracha, He has enough to go around for all!!!  Subconscious feelings of competition are a most significant source of sinas chinam.

Secondly, when you walk down the street and meet a fellow Jew whom you are convinced is on a different wavelength then yourself, make a mental exercise of concentrating on things you have in common, mitzvos that you both keep, hopes that you both share etc., rather than falling prey to the habit of mentally underscoring how different  and disconnected the two of you are.  (e.g. What a shallow person!  What a frummy!  What a mess!   What a miser, faker!  How modern!  etc.)  Also, actively, bentch them in your heart, wish upon them and imagine for them all the wonderful things that will enhance their happiness, and physical and spiritual well-being.  This is very effective in creating an atmosphere of achdus, for the feelings that we feel in our hearts are instantly broadcast and consequently mirrored forth. WE MAkE A VERY SIGNIFICANT CONTRIBUTION TO THE SPIRITUAL CLIMATE OF THE WORLD.
 
 

As far as the mitzvah of hating evil, there are many clauses attached:

We are only commanded to hate the fellow Jew for sinning if this person is our equal,  This means that he has  similar background and education and resources and opportunities as we.  We also have had to rebuke them without their having listened.  This is not a very realistic possiblility.  A Jew sins, chas veshalom, only due to extenuating circumstances. The Ba'al Shev Tov teaches us NEVER to criticize a fellow Jew for evil, so that we do not become the partner eid-witness to the satan to condemn (valid testimony requires two witnesses).  Rather, criticize the evil deed or trait and NOT THE PERSON.

Also, in Kedusha, there is harmony.  (see the lesson of Parashas Vayishlach.)  This means that there is no contradiction between Ahavas Yisrael and loathing evil.   If it is truly the evil that we hate and not the person,  then we will great feel great compassion for the person who is in the domain of evil (Tania).  Thus when we feel together with the revulsion for the bad, great compassion for the person  and pain,  and we are saddened by their shortcoming or mistake,  we know that  this is sincere.  If we feel anger, distain, superiority and impatience, we must question the sincerity of the criticism.  Chazal teach us that this is  a mechanism of cover-up  for our own faults which we have neglected to rectify.  BEWARE!! This is a most common trap.

In conclusion, since true Ahavas Yisrael is really a most profound ideal, and there are so many obstacles in its way, it is a good idea to constantly daven and ask Hashem to open our eyes and teach us how to attain this goal.

A gutten Erev Shabbos, Chodesh Tov
from Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh