V'einei Layah rakos (Breishis 29,17)
And Layah's eyes were swollen..

Chazal ask, why does the Torah give a negative report about the appearance of
Layah Imeinu?  The Torah does not even speak negatively about "the animals
that are not tahor" in Noach's taivah.  The Torah would certainly not speak
negatively about the tzaddekes Layah Imeinu!!

Chazal tell us that Layah Imeinu  overhear it being said that Rivkah had two sons
and that Lavan had two daughters. The older one would marry the older one and
the younger one would marry the younger one.  Layah inquired about the
character of Aisav and she was told that he was an evil person involved in
robbery.  The younger one, she was told, was an innocent man who was
constantly learning Torah.

When she heard this, she wept until her eyelashes fell out.

Why did Layah simply not tell her father that she did not agree to marry Aisav?
Her father Lavan was outwardly a "very ethical and kind" person.  He certainly
would comply to his daughter's wishes.  Why, then, did Layah have to cry so
profusely?  Why was it assumed that this was the perfect match for her? And how
did this rumor succeed in coming to be and traveling such a great distance in a
time when there were no telephones, newspapers, internet..?

                                                    *
Let us look at the two brothers, Yaakov and Aisav.
Yaakov Avinu was compared to the Aitz HaChaim, the Tree of Life.
Aisav was compared to the Aitz HaDaas Tov vaRah, the Tree of Knowledge good
and evil.  The two trees grew from one source.  Hashem created the two trees
in Gan Eden in  order to give man the opportunity to achieve perfection.  The
Aitz HaChaim represents when man attaches himself to the Source of Life by
doing mitzvos and maasim tovim, "asei tov". The Aitz HaDaas represents when
man does the same by resisting the urge to follow his own intellect and the urge
to do as do as he pleases, "sur mairah".

Originally, Yaakov was to achieve his state of perfection through "asei tov",
through being the "Ish tam yoshev ohalim" and thus bringing Heaven down to
earth.  Aisav was created with negative character traits and the drive to be
heavily involved in this world.  His state of perfection was to be achieved by
fleeing from  his evil inclinations, through "sur mairah", thus elevating the earth
to the Heaven.  By doing so, Aisav could have attained great spiritual heights
that are more easily achieved through "sur mairah" than through "asai tov".

But alas, Aisav utterly failed to live up to his challenge.  Rather than resist his
inclinations, he completely succumbed to evil.  And whatever good he knew, he
utilized for his evil designs.

Rivkah Imeinu understood her two sons thoroughly.  She understood that it was
necessary for Yaakov to take over his brother Aisav's role of "sur mairah" in
addition to his own role of "asai tov".  Hence, the story of the Brachos in Parshas
Toldos.  Yaakov's name would be changed to Yisrael "ki sarisah im elokim
va'anashim vatuchal", for battling over the evil forces and victoring.

Rachel Imeinu was the original soul mate of Yaakov Avinu, the "Aitz HaChaim".
Layah Imeinu was the original soul mate of Aisav, paralleling the "Aitz HaDaas
tov varah".  Certainly this is what was announced by the Malach "forty days
before they were formed."

This being the case, there was great "koach hamshacha", attraction to Aisav.
Layah Imeinu had to exert great superhuman effort in order to sever her
attraction and bond to Aisav the rasha. In addition, she wept profusely and
fasted until her eyes were swollen.  Is this not the ultimate "sur maira", fleeing
from evil?!!

It was no petty rumor that paired Aisav with Layah and Yaakov with Rachel.  It
was the Heavenly announcement of the Malach.  However, Aisav changed his
destiny by ruining himself.  It did not suffice for Layah to simply tell her father
that she was not interested in Aisav.  She had to sever the bond between their
souls through great exertion and through crying and fasting.

The Divine Plan rerouted.  Yaakov assumed a new role, the one rejected by
Aisav.  In this new capacity, Layah was the appropriate wife of Yaakov Avinu.
Together, Rachel and Layah would build Am Yisrael.

"V'einei Layah rakos".
Layah Imeinu's swollen eyes were no flaw.  They were her greatest strength.
They were the merit in which Laya Imeinu became the "Aim Habanim semeacha",
the joyous mother of six out of twelve of the Shivtei Kah.

                                                               *
When we think of the attainment of spiritual heights, we generally think in
terms of increasing our level of Kiyum HaMitzvos and increasing our maasim
tovim, "asai tov".  And rightly so.

Let us not underestimate the other realm of "sur mairah".  Let us not
underestimate the importance and the power of fleeing from evil, from our
negative character traits.

Controlling impulsiveness and anger, overcoming feelings of frustration, despair,
despondency, laziness, jealousy and CONCEIT etc., require great exertion and
effort.  As we face the last phase of the Galus, and the Malach of Aisav
frantically tries to make his last stand, our fleeing from these negative behavior
patterns becomes an especially challenging and meaningful endeavor.

Never forget the power of Tefilla.

Mi chacham veyavein  aileh.
Who is wise and understands these ideas (Haftarah).

A gutten Erev Shabbos from Yerushalayim Ir HaKodesh.